There was a young lady from Venus...

These little ditties are limericks that were submitted in a Star Trek limerick contest on America Online's "Hecklers Online" forum. I only pulled a couple of them in order to save space. For more examples of these Star Trek limericks and other crass humor, you'll have to get on AOL. (Hey, I've only got one megabyte of storage space here... whadda you want???) The author's AOL screen name appears after each limerick.


There once was a doctor named "Bones"
He wouldn't do nothin' but moan.
"I'm a doctor, not this!"
The crew would get pissed
So they left him on planet "Unknown". --DieMuppets

There once was a Vulcan named Spock,
Whose feelings and thoughts were like clocks.
He died, in a way---
Came back the next day,
Leaving Trekkers, and critics, to mock. --LoveSTNG

Worf wanted to get busy with Troi
And Riker, well this did annoy
But he didn't go without
When horny he'd shout
"Hey Wesley, come over here boy" --Pete31769

Captain Kirk was known in his day
To enjoy interstellar T & A
So everywhere they would go
Scottie found him a "ho"
And achieved warp drive before Kirk had to pay. --RENTRDY

The bathroom situation is dour,
'Cause the engineer's there every hour.
His last name is Scotty,
And he sits on the potty,
Screaming "Cap'n, I don' ha' the power!" --Ronkarate